Reflection

Kaley Stock

Ms. Kelly Anthony

14SP-ENG-101-W05

March 2nd, 2014

Reflection

                      I took on this blogging project with many challenges, as well as successes. I wasn't sure how I was supposed to go about it at first. I didn't know if I should just randomly babble about my thoughts, or if I should give myself a topic or prompt to write about. I decided that you can find a nice balance of each. Sometimes, when I found myself about to free-write, I would decide on a topic to keep myself on track. However, there were times where I had so much going on in life that it was nice to be able to just vent what was on my mind. I enjoyed this project, although it came with many challenges. 

                      My first challenge came when I began my first post. I got about three sentences into my writing and I realized I had no idea what to write anymore. I was trying to force myself to write, as opposed to letting it flow out. I found help in re-reading Freewriting by Peter Elbow. When I re-read this piece I remembered that free-writing gives you the freedom to write what you want, even if it isn't usually acceptable. This helped my words flow because I became less worried about being judged. I think that is my favorite part of free-writing; that it is more for the writer than the reader, and you can express yourself freely. 

                      My second challenge began after about fourteen freewrites. I was unable to think of anything to write about. I would just stare at the blank page open on my laptop, hoping for something to come to me. This problem was not easily solved at first. Then I looked at a list of freewriting prompts, which allowed me to get some ideas. After finishing my first internet prompt, I began brainstorming some of my own. As we end this project, I am doing much better at choosing my own topics. 

                      It wasn't all challenges, though. I noticed some successes with my writing as well. I think through working on this project I have gained more of a voice in my writing. Knowing that I was writing for me, helped me further develop and show this voice. Also, I think my ability to write more without pausing has vastly improved. I am someone who will take three hours just to get an introduction right. However, during this project we had to not pause to think, but just write. I think this helped me improve my writing style. Now I would rather write a flowing paragraph, then edit out the little stuff instead of taking ten minutes, trying to craft a sentence to perfectly fit someone's expectations. 

                     Through these successes and challenges I've learned my likes and dislikes for blogging and freewriting. First off, I really like the freedom to state my own opinion. Sometimes in my normal writing I feel bad for stating my opinion because I don't wish to offend anyone. However, with this project, I felt good in being able to express my true feelings. I also liked this project because you gain writing practice without all of the pressure of a paper. When writing a normal English assignment, you must worry about MLA formatting, spelling, and grammar. Those things can put a lot of pressure on a writer, and they lose focus of the main point. This project eliminates a lot of that pressure and allows them to focus on that main point: the contents. I really enjoy this project. 

                      However, it wasn't all good. I didn't like that I always had to pick my topics. I don't think that the project would keep all of its benefits if you made prompts for the writers, however, it would have been less frustrating. That is really the only thing I didn't particularly like about this project. I would suggest keeping this project the same and continuing to assign it to students. 

Stress FreeWrite

Kaley Stock

Ms. Kelly Anthony

14SP-ENG-101-W05

March 2nd, 2014

Stress

                 For my blog freewrite today, I would like to just babble about my stresses. Lately, I've had a lot going on and it's becoming really exhausting. I need a break or an outlet...Anything! So, here we go! 

                 First of all, I just got a new job. I had been working at Andy's Frozen Custard for the past two years, and I really enjoyed it. I loved the people I worked with and I thought I was good at my job. They also worked with m schedule and the fact that I don't have a car. However, I wasn't making as much money as I need to be. I have been saving up for a car so that I could get a new job and be able to drive to it. I finally had all of the money, so I quit Andy's, and got a new job at Applebee's. However, the purchase of a car was put off when my rent increased by two hundred dollars. 

               That's where my next level of stress comes in. I had been having trouble with my roommate. She would bring random people home, get messed up, and trash that house literally almost every single night. She managed to break a countertop, ruin the vinyl floors, spraypaint the carpet, and break her window. She was constantly saying the crazy behavior would change but it did not. One day I was putting some of her things in her room, when I found a very large stash of drugs. Immediately I called her and told her to come get it out of my house as well as her stuff. She came back that night, eyes sunken in like normal, and started screaming and attacking me.I had to use a police batton to keep her from hitting me, and my boyfriend had to lift her out of the room for her to leave. So, on account of my roommate ending up being a crazy drug addict, I'm having some money troubles. 

               My roommate didn't stop there. The next day she came back with her drug dealer, and tried to break into the house. She was making threats, saying I had no idea what I was messing with, or what they would do to me. I ended up calling the cops, as soon as I did they fled. Upon the cops arrival, they informed us if we want her to leave us alone we have to get her stuff out. So, I spent the rest of that day moving her stuff out with the help of her mother. This took days to blow over, dealing with police and her family and her, and it caused me to miss my homework. My grades dropped drastically, and I'm working overtime to catch up. 

              It just seems like everything fell apart at once. I have school issues, work issues, money issues, car issues, legal issues. I have a whole book of issues. I need a bath!

Stranger Danger

Kaley Stock

Ms. Kelly Anthony

14SP-ENG-101-W05

March 2nd, 2014

Stranger Danger

                   One important lesson I learned growing up was Stranger Danger. This means you don't talk to a strangers, or approach them. My parents were always making sure that I knew this. As a kid, I thought they piled it on a little too much. However, no I'm glad they did. 

                  Recently, here in Springfield there was a young girl who was kidnapped. She had been walking home from a friends house (something my parents would never have let me do alone) when a man in a truck pulled up near to her. He began asking her questions about how to get somewhere in town, and as she walked over to answer him, the man pulled her into his truck. This man drove off with her and she was reported missing. About two days later, the young girl was found dead. 

                 I don't mean to use this tragedy as a lesson, but maybe it should be. Are parents not teaching Stranger Danger anymore? I understand that kidnappings would still be a risk, but the young girl would never have walked up to that truck. If we taught Stranger Danger, then this young girl would have known to keep walking home, and not to acknowledge him. Today, society is even more dangerous than it was. We need to educate our children to avoid more tragedies similar to this one.

The Hunger Games

Kaley Stock

Ms. Kelly Anthony

14SP-ENG-101-W05

March 2nd, 2014

The Hunger Games

                  I'm sure by now everyone has heard of the book The Hunger Games. This book is about a competition that takes place every year where the main character (Katniss) is from. This competition is referred to as the Hunger Games. Every year each districts (which are kind of like states) have to send one girl and one boy to fight to the death against all of the others. There is a total of 24 kids that are sent in to fight. This book was made into a movie, and all of my workmates say I look like Katniss. This has led them to calling me Katniss as a nickname, which got me thinking about how I would do in the Hunger Games. 

                 After pondering this, I have decided I would die within the first two days. First of all, I don't think that I could ever kill someone. This leaves me two choices: run or hide. The thing is, neither of these things are my strong suit. First of all, I don't think I could run more than 50 yards without stopping. Also, I'm not very fast...at all. So, this leaves me with hiding. Like I said, not my  strong suit. When I played hide'n'seek as a kid I always got way too anxious and nervous that I was going to be found. This, most of the time, caused me to just give up. I think if I had to hide and I knew that of someone found me I would die, I would probably worry until I went insane. This insanity would drive me to either kill myself or come out of hiding, where someone would then kill me. Hopefully I'm never in the Hunger Games! 

Sing Me a Love Song

Kaley Stock

Ms. Kelly Anthony

14SP-ENG-101-W05

March 2nd, 2014

Sing Me a Love Song

                           I've talked about my love for music in previous blogs. I think music has a great way of capturing human emotion, both with the actual music and with lyrics. As I can't play you a song, I would like to show you what I mean through lyrics. Today I am stuck on love songs, so I'm gonna talk about my favorite love song. 

                           My first favorite love song narrates a son telling his son about how he fell in love with the boy's mother. He tells his son that his mother was the most beautiful woman he had ever met and how they spent their nights together. "Now most of the time we'd have too much to drink, we'd laugh at the stars and we'd share everything. Too young to notice or too dumb to care, love was a story that couldn't compare." It then continues to say how his father proposed "Girl, can I tell you a wonderful thing? I've made you a present with paper and string. Open with care now, I'm asking you please, you know that I love you. Will you marry me?" At this point in the song, I'm always filled with joy for this young couple. There is simple piano music is playing and it sounds so pleasant. 

                        However, from there, the song takes a turn. "She said boy can I tell you a terrible thing? It seems that I'm sick and I've only got weeks. Please don't be sad now,I really believe you were the greatest thing that ever happened to me." During this verse you begin to realize that the piano music is beginning to sound sad, then it comes to a halt. From here the song hits a musical climax, as well as emotional climax. "Slow, so slow, I fell to the ground on my knees. So don't fall in love, there's just too much to lose. If you're given the chance, I'm hoping you choose to walk away. Walk away, don't let her get you. I can't bear to see the same happen to you." Now, the first few times I heard this song I broke down into tears. A father telling his son not to fall in love, because it leads to too much hurt. It's sad, and it tears on my heartstrings. I think it's a great example of music expressing emotion.

Time Machine

Kaley Stock

Ms. Kelly Anthony

14SP-ENG-101-W05

March 2nd, 2014

Flash to 1960

                        Today I have given myself a quick writing prompt. This prompt is: If you could travel in a time machine back to any time period, where would you go? To answer this question, I would go to the 1960s. There are many reasons I would choose this particular decade. First of all, the music in the 1960s was much more influential and unique. For example, in the 1960s there was The Beatles, Don Mclean, and Buddy Holly, as well as a younger Jimi Hendrix. These people made giant leaps for music. 

                         Also in the 1960s, things were simpler. There weren't computers, ipads, and cell phones. If you wanted to talk to someone then you had to talk to them. I feel like this could eliminate massive amounts of drama from my life. Lastly, I would want to go to the 1960s because I think it is full of culture. Times were changing in the 1960s. There were protests and riots, as well as Woodstock. I would love to be able to soak up all of the culture of the 1960s, even if I could only watch.

My Religion

Kaley Stock

Ms. Kelly Anthony

14SP-ENG-101-W05

March 2nd, 2014

My Religion- Or lack of 

                             Today I am going to explain my beliefs. I wish to do this mainly because most of my classmates are continuously shoving their religions down my throat. I'd swear they think they'll die if they don't mention it. I, on the other hand, try to be respectful of others and their beliefs. I don't want to assume others feel the same way I do, and I don't want people to think I'm being pushy. I feel like here, on my own blog, I can state my beliefs.

                             Unlike 90% of my classmates, I am not christian. I do not believe we were created by one man. I think that it's entirely too unlikely and illogical. Things in life have an explanation, even if you don't know what it is. Think of everything we didn't know hundreds of years ago that we know now. We are constantly finding new explanations, however, I don't think that one of those scientific explanations is going to be a mystical man who somehow is invincible to all of the rules and explanations of science thus far. I am not intending to be rude, but to me it just doesn't make sense. So, I guess you can say I believe more in science instead of a god. 

                             However, I could be wrong. Luckily, I'm not someone who needs the answer. I'm okay with not knowing where I came from. What truly matters is where I'm going. So instead of worrying about religion, or lack of, I focus on treating people well and improving myself.

J-Law

Kaley Stock

Ms. Kelly Anthony

14SP-ENG-101-W05

March 2nd, 2014

Jennifer Lawrence

                In society today, we are slowly losing good role models. For instance, let's look at Miley Cyrus. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for Miley doing her thing, but she's not somebody a little girl should look up to. Celebrities nowadays try to brainwash you into thinking you have to be pretty, and that's all that matters. You have to have good hair, perfect nose, great, figure, so on and so forth. However, there's one celebrity whom I think is really doing it right, and that's Jennifer Lawrence. She is a very down to Earth woman, who I think is a good role model for younger girls. 

                Jennifer Lawrence is not obsessed with being thin and pretty. When once asked about the quote "Nothing tastes as good as being skinny feels.." She responded with "I can think of a lot of things that taste better than skinny feels....Bread, potatoes.." She is always saying things like this regarding food. It's nice to hear about food, as opposed to losing weight and needing to be thin. Jennifer Lawrence is also a good role model because she handles fame graciously and has never done anything inappropriate in front of the camera. She has a great drive and has made a real career for herself. I think those are qualities worth possessing. 

Plans for the Future

Kaley Stock

Ms. Kelly Anthony

14SP-ENG-101-W05

March 2nd, 2014

Plans for the Future

                       As I have stated in many previous blogs, I'm still pretty young. I'm at the ripe age of 18, until Saturday when I turn 19. Like most kids my age, I have begun my own life. I have moved out of my parent's and started school. However, I have no clue where to go from here! Other kids my age already know their majors and where they want to work, while I have no clue. I grew up wanting to be a teacher, then a music producer, then a teacher again, then a social worker, after that I thought about starting my own business, and now I don't know. The thing is, I don't think that doing one thing for the rest of life will make me happy. I'm the type of person who gets bored really easily, and I like to change my mind often. I'm afraid that if I spend money to pay for a degree, I'll only use that degree for a few years. I don't want to be in debt my whole life for a degree I don't use. 

                     With this in mind, I plan to finish getting my general education courses. After that, I am thinking about getting a vague degree, like business. With this degree maybe I can have freedom to either start my own business, or be a manager somewhere. If I were to become a manager, I would be able to manage many types of businesses, allowing me to change my mind. After finishing this degree I hope to put it to good use in Florida. My boyfriend and I have talked about moving down there after the two of us finish school. We want to live on the beach, where it's beautiful. That's about all of my plans so far. I hope to make up the rest as I go along.

Hakuna Matata

Kaley Stock

Ms. Kelly Anthony

14SP-ENG-101-W05

March 2nd, 2014

Hakuna Matata

                         Hakuna Matata is a Swahili phrase meaning 'no problem'. It was made popular by the children's movie, The Lion King. As a young one this movie was one of my favorites, so I grew up watching it. I always liked Timon and Pumba, but as I grew older I began to appreciate the message they send. "Hakuna Matata, what a wonderful phrase. Hakuna Matata for the rest of your days. It means no worries for the rest of your days. Its our problem-free philosophy, Hakuna Matata." 

                         I try to live my life by this message every single day. In life, you constantly have things pushing you down. This can be troubles with work, relationships, school, whatever. You really have just got try your best and keep your chin up. Worrying about your problems will never solve them, and I used to forget that. I would easily get worked up over anything, and worry and worry. Eventually, too many things happen in life. You have to learn to roll with the punches, and I think now I'm much better at this. I'm also a lot happier. To commemorate the hard times leading to this way of thinking, I have hakuna matata tattooed on my ribcage. It is there to always remind me to not worry, and think positive!

Headlights

Kaley Stock

Ms. Kelly Anthony

14SP-ENG-101-W05

March 2nd, 2014

Headlights

                   Right now I'm listening to a new song that I like very much. It's called Headlights, by Eminem. It's not Eminem's usual rap, where he throws out violent insults, but instead an apology to his mother. He apologizes for being so mean to her. Even though she wasn't a good parent, he talks about how she's still his mom and he will always love her no matter what. It's a nice change for Eminem. It seems like he's getting his life together, and that makes it my favorite song.

                   Eminem's transformation is not the only reason I like this song, though. There is a particular line in the song that I like, it goes: "I guess we are who we are. Headlights shining in the dark night, I drive on." I like this line a lot because I feel like it's saying two important things. The first one being that you can't help the cards you're dealt. You can't change your parents, or your home, even if you hate them. You are who you are. You can only do the best what you've been given. The second thing is that you can't help what others do. You can't change other's actions, so you might as well keep on doing your best. You might as well keep 'driving' on through. I think both of these are lessons that can be applied to real life, which is why this is my favorite song right now. They seem to relate to my life at this time.

Blog Freewrite 2/9/2014

Kaley Stock

Ms. Kelly Anthony

14SP-ENG-101-W05

February 9th, 2014

My Strange Dream

           Last night I had a very strange dream. I usually can't remember my dreams, but when I do they're

usually pretty weird. For example, last night I had a dream that my cousin tried to break into my work. I 

work at Andy's Frozen Custard. So, in my dream, I was making a sundae. All of a sudden, my cousin is 

banging on the door. This may not sound that weird, but you have to know that I only see my cousin about 

once a year, and we do not talk. I'm very distant from my family. Anyway, he's banging on the oor, so my 

boss goes to answer it. When my boss opened the door, there was my cousin demanding free custard. In my dream my cousin was extremely intoxicated, and from this point he ripped off his shirt and began swinging it around his head. Next, in my dream, my boss told him no and slammed the door. However, that didn't stop my cousin. He then began screaming in the window that if he didn't get his custard then we'd regret it. So, I gave him the sundae I was making. This was not the right dream decision, because my boss then fired me. I awoke very confused.

Money Frustration

Kaley Stock

Ms. Kelly Anthony 

14SP-ENG-101-W05

March 2nd, 2014

Money Frustration

               Right now I wish to freewrite about what's on my mind...money struggles! Recently, we've had a bit of an issue with my roommate. By "a bit of an issue", I mean that she ended up being a psychotic drug addict. She tried to attack me, as well as screamed hateful things in my face. Following this event, we told her she had to move out. 

               It's nice to finally have her out of the house, because she has been causing a lot of problems for a long time. However, that's about 200 dollars that my boyfriend and I are not used to paying. Unfortunately, timing was not on our side with this ordeal. I just quit my job because I found a better one. However, this new job keeps rescheduling my first day, so I haven't had a paycheck in a while. Also, my boyfriend's paycheck this week has been lacking. Paying rent has broke the bank, so to speak. I have no spending money. I have no money to eat. I'm really struggling, and it's weighing down on me.

Ten Truths

Kaley Stock

Ms. Kelly Anthony

14SP-ENG-101-W05

March 2nd, 2014

Ten Truths

               I thought for my freewrite today I would do something a little more fun. It will help you get to know a little more about me. The following are 10 true things about me: 

1. I am addicted to caffeine. I drink at least three cans of Dr. Pepper every day. If I don't then you probably should avoid direct contact with me. I tend to get headaches and get very cranky. 

2. I have a younger sister.Her name is Mariah, and she is 17 years old. Wow! Didn't realize she was so old. I started typing 14, before realizing that that was no longer accurate. I also have an older step-sister, her name is Megan and she is 21. 

3. My favorite movie of all time is Armageddon. It features comedy, as well as action, and a charming love story. It is filled with emotions, and has an amazing cast. 

4. I'm a huge fan of The Little Mermaid. It has been my favorite animated movie since I was young. I own hundreds of dollars worth of Little Mermaid merchandise. 

5. My most embarrassing moment was peeing myself at soccer practice at a young age. It was my first practice and I was too nervous and afraid to ask where the restroom was. I thought I could hold it long enough, I was definitely wrong. 

6. I'm very prissy about my hair. I don't like when other people mess with it. 

7. I do not have a religion. I definitely believe something happened for us to be here, but who am I to decide how that was? I am fine with not knowing, because I don't think I would live my life any differently. 

8. Music means A LOT to me. Music is what helps me through the day. It can help you when you're sad, happy, angry, anything. It helps me express myself. 

9. I do not condone violence. I got punched in the face once, and did not hit back. I tend to shy away from violence. I think people use violence when they're not smart enough to solve their problems with their head. 

10. I would do anything for the people I care about. I will always have their backs, and they can count on me to be there. I like to help my friends with their problems. 

March 8th

Kaley Stock

Ms. Kelly Anthony

14SP-ENG-101-W05

March 2nd, 2014

March 8th

                        Today I wish to freewrite about March 8th. Why is this date significant? It just happens to be my birthday. In case you don't have a calendar handy, that's less than a week away. In less than a week I will be 19 years old. I know that's not a particularly exciting age, but it's my birthday away from my parents and for some reason that excites me.Now that I'm parent free, I can do whatever I want for my birthday, and I don't have to invite them. I love my parents and all, but you don't always want them to be at your birthday party. 

                        I'm also excited for this particular birthday because I'm getting a new tattoo. I have waited a year for it, in order for my dad to come with me. It's very important for me that my dad be there for this particular tattoo. You see, my dad hates tattoos and doesn't approve of me having them. However, this one means a lot and I've waited. About a year ago, we lost my grandpa; my dad's father. He was always full of life, so when he was dying in the hospital, it was hard to go in and see him. I regret it everyday, but I never could make myself do it. I want to remember him how he was. 

                       When he passed I felt so awful for never visiting. My dad had asked me to go see him many times, but I always put it off. I lost my chance to say goodbye and I love you to my grandpa. I forever owe him for that. This tattoo is only a small gesture, but I want to remember my grandpa forever. But I want to remember when he was full of life, so I'm getting a portrait of him performing onstage, located on my shoulderblade. The tattoo will be taken from a picture he used to always show off, while bragging about being a lady's man. It's the perfect way to honor my grandpa and only six days left!

Eminem

Kaley Stock

Ms. Kelly Anthony

14SP-ENG-101-W05

March 2nd, 2014

Eminem

                    This freewrite is a little random. I'm going to spend my ten minutes talking about the rapper, Eminem. Eminem is a very controversial member of the rap game. He has caused trouble amongst parents, children, and the government. He has a way of using atrocious language to deliver insults and harsh feelings about his life. He also references violence as well as drugs and alcohol. This has caused much hatred for him. 

                    However, these are all of the that I love Eminem. He says all of the things that I can't say. I'm not saying that I would ever want to slit someone's throat and put them in a trunk, but sometimes I do have pent up anger. Listening to Eminem, to me is like fighting out all of my anger without actually doing anything. I just jam out to Eminem, and somehow I end up feeling less angry. Eminem doesn't only have angry music, though. He also has written songs about his struggles with raising his daughter. In his newest album, he writes about how he's overcome his adversities, and apologizes to the people he has hurt. It's good to know that he can go from being so angry to overcoming all of it, and improving himself. That gives me hope. 

                     It gives me hope because he has come from relatable means. He was born in Missouri, just like me. He knows what it's like to eat hamburger helper everyday because it's cheap. He's seen the type of people that live in Missouri. He's been where I've been, except within worse circumstances. So if he can make something of himself, so can I.

Babies Having Babies

Kaley Stock

Ms. Kelly Anthony

14SP-ENG-101-W05

March 2nd, 2014

Babies Having Babies

                     Today I want to do my free-writing about how everybody I know is having babies and getting married. I know that this is part of life. Your friends grow up and start to have kids of their own, and you wonder how old you are and where time went. The thing is, I just graduated last year. It has been less than a year since we all graduated, and were released into the world as "adults". I say "adults" and not adults, because many of the kids I graduated with had not yet earned the right to refer to themselves as adults. 

                     However, that hasn't stopped them. I know at least five people who are my age or younger who have their own children. I don't understand this. I can barely take care of myself! I understand mistakes happen, but that many mistakes? In today's society we have many different types of birth control available. Due to the availability of said products, I do not think there's much excuse for these unplanned pregnancies. 

                     What really bothers me, though, is some of the young parents I know planned their baby. These parents have been together less than a year, and one of them is unemployed, and in high school. Why would you do this to yourself? When you graduate high school you have all of the potential in the world. You can go to school, or to the army, or go straight into a career. Nowadays the sky's not even a limit. Kids have time to grow up and live to their fullest, before settling down. When you have your own babies so young, you're taking a lot of opportunities for yourself. I just wish people my age would make better choices.

Things That Have Shaped Who I Am__Houston

Kaley Stock

Ms. Kelly Anthony

14SP-ENG-101-W05

March 2nd, 2014

Things That Have Shaped Who I Am

Houston

                        I plan on making this the last of this series. Now, don't get me wrong, there are plenty more people and things that have shaped who I am. However, it would take hours to tell you about all of them. I have shared the ones that I think are particularly important, except for this last one, Houston. Houston is my boyfriend. I have known him for about three and a half years, and we've been dating for a year and a half of it. He is two years older than me, and is the only person I have ever met who's weird like I am. I'm not saying people aren't weird, I just have a specific type of weird. It's like if you combined Michael Scott and Holly Flax from the office, with a strange teenager. 

                      Houston has affected my life in many positive ways. This first being helping me with Kaitlyn. We began dating around the time that Kaitlyn made my life awful. He gave me someone to talk to. Once I graduated, he managed to pull me out of my depression. He is truly a caring and compassionate person. He is silly and fun, and makes me smile. He could not have come at a better time in my life. 

                      As well as being my best friend, and saving me from my own unhappiness, Houston has helped me grow up...alot. Even if I didn't ask for it, or sometimes it made us fight. I stopped acting so much like a kid. He taught me how to better use my money, and the internet. He teaches me something new each day, and I'm thankful for that. I feel like our relationship improves who I am as a person. I hope to have him in my life forever. 

Things That Have Shaped Who I Am__Kaitlyn Continued

Kaley Stock

Ms. Kelly Anthony

14SP-ENG-101-W05

March 2nd, 2014

Things That Have Shaped Who I Am

Kaitlyn's Revenge

                     In my last blog, I gave a bit of a background on who Kaitlyn is, or at least was. I ended by saying she made life awful for me for a year. This treatment is where Kaitlyn's role in shaping who I am is revealed. It all began one day when I upset her best friend, Kayla. I don't remember much about what I actually did to upset her, but Kaitlyn jumped at the chance to turn on me. 

                     It started off slower. I was on facebook and saw Kaitlyn's status was her revealing one of my darkest secrets. I would like to keep this particular secret to myself, but that's just the point. I can't write it here, so it definitely shouldn't have been posted on facebook. I blocked her and texted her, asking her to stop. To my knowledge, there were no more statuses made. I was relieved, thinking the worse was over. It was not. 

                     Kaitlyn and Kayla were both in my PE class. This is where most of the abuse continued. I came into PE that next day, to be greeted by glares. Trying to avoid confrontation, I went to the locker room to change. After this, we began running laps. Now, in my PE class we ran tag-team style with a partner. That way, one kid sits out while the other runs. Well, as Kaitlyn was sitting, I was running. Everytime I ran by she would yell insults at me. Lap 1- "Bitch!", Lap 2- "Whore!", Lap 3- "Fatass!", and so on and so forth. Now in most classes, the teacher would do something. My class was apparently different. My teacher did nothing. He continued to do nothing as this happened everyday. They did something new each day. Throwing balls at my head, cussing at me, making jokes loudly. It was an hour of being treated like crap. 

                     I eventually stopped going to PE. It felt so crappy to go it wasn't worth it. Even being a senior I was still growing up, and I still had my insecurities. I didn't need to have them yelled at me as I ran. This is the first impact Kaitlyn had. I had always been an A student, and not showing up to PE had dropped my grade way low. My mom felt too guilty to make me go, everytime she tried I found myself begging and crying. So, everyday I would show up right before lunch. This began to be a problem after first semester, when Kaitlyn transferred into my lunch period and my friends transferred out. I'm not the type who cares to eat alone, so I sat down one day to eat. Kaitlyn threw food at me, as well as shouted insults. Eventually, I would end up eating all my lunches alone, on the floor in a deserted hallway. 

                   Just like lunch, my friends weren't there for my classes. This made school become somewhere I went everyday to try to learn something while suffering through constant abuse. I slowly began showing up less and less. I would show up to get my schoolwork for the week, and go home. You were lucky if you saw me again before the next week. This plummeted my attendance to 56%. My principal almost didn't let me graduate. This meant I had to start going to school more. I became very jaded. Just walked in like a zombie, went through the motions, and came home. I hated every minute of it. I became the most depressed I've ever been. 

                  I finally got to the point where I realized I had nothing else to lose and I didn't care. So one day, Kaitlyn had the audacity to ask me for a shirt she left at my house months ago. I responded "I don't think so." She asked why and I told her I wasn't going to do something for her since she treated me so poorly everyday. She responded very loudly with "Well maybe if you weren't such a nasty bitch, I wouldn't have to." The whole class heard this one. They all turned to gawk at us. Suddenly, the bell rung and we walked out, on the way to lunch. I approached Kaitlyn and very maturely asking what I did to make her treat me like this and what I needed to do to stop it. She told me I had turned into a fatass, and then she punched me straight in the nose. 

                 This is the first time I had ever had a confrontation that turned violent. I was so angry. Although I regret it everyday of my life, I did not hit her back. Instead I shouted "Are you kidding me?!" And walked to the office. I asked to go home and told them what happened. She got one day of suspension, and I ended up having a broken nose. I had to get surgery. After this, my parents were fed up. They filed assault charges. This cause Kaitlyn's abuse to stop. 

                 This whole thing played a very large role in who I am. I was so depressed that Kaitlyn was right, I had gained weight. However, after the abuse stopped, I got my stuff together and graduated. I moved out of my house with my awesome boyfriend, and I lost 45 pounds. I'm in the best shape I've ever been in. Also, I'm doing well in school, and at work. I feel confident in myself and definitely don't let others push me around anymore. Kaitlyn ended up dropping out of high school. She does not have a job, and I hear she's on some powdery substance. Karma bit her in the ass and she couldn't have deserved it more. 

Things That Have Shaped My Life__Kaitlyn

Kaley Stock

Ms. Kelly Anthony

14SP-ENG-101-W05

March 1st, 2014

Things That Have Shaped Who I Am

Kaitlyn

                    In this series, I have talked about the different people who have had an effect on who I am today. I discussed each of my parents as well as their divorce. This next topic is probably one of the most important. My point of discussion today is Kaitlyn, an old friend of mine from high school. However, Kaitlyn's friendship lasted no longer than the first month of my senior year. 

                    Before we get to Kaitlyn's impact on my life, I would like to give a bit of a background on the type of person Kaitlyn is. She was one grade lower than I, and was gorgeous. She had perfect hair that she could style however she wanted, her makeup always looked great, and she always had cute new clothes. The strange part of all of this is that she came from a poor family. They couldn't afford to give her money, so how did they afford for her to look so good? The answer was that Kaitlyn was so worried about her appearance that she would do anything to impress, I later learned that this meant stealing her clothes and makeup. Not only from friends, but also shopping malls. 

                   Kaitlyn was also the type of person who changed around whoever she was. When she was around the popular boys and girls she would act shallow and rude. When she was around me and my friends, she acted like one of us. I wasn't unpopular in high school, but I wasn't one to sit amongst the cool crowd. To be honest, they were all a**holes. So when she was with us she would act like she disliked said cool crowd. When she was with people who smoked, she also smoked. When she was around a non-smoker she talked about how nasty smoking is. You see the trend. She was a chameleon of personalities. 

                  Now you're probably wondering if she was so awful why I was friends with her? At the time, Kaitlyn was awesome. She was a very bubbly person, so she was always fun to hang out with. She made me feel like she cared about me and we were good friends. At the time I didn't realize how much I was being manipulated. I began to realize this after Kaitlyn introduced me to one of her friends, Kayla. Kayla was Kaitlyn's best friend, the were inseparable. I started noticing that Kaitlyn completely controlled Kayla's every move. She was also very mean and manipulative towards her. Kaitlyn pretty much treated Kayla like a subordinate, like something you see in Mean Girls. 

                 After seeing this behavior, I stopped being as close of friends with Kaitlyn. I still had a connection with Kayla, however. She was a sweet girl, but like I said, they were inseparable. That means to hang out with one I would have to hang out with the other. It was hard, and I think Kaitlyn began to catch on that I was only hanging out with her for Kayla. She slowly tried to shove me away. That wasn't the worst, though. Kaitlyn continued to make life awful for me for a year.

To be continued...